The Bone Room

Last week, my housemate’s friend, Yemisi Blake, asked if he could snap some photos of me in ‘my bone lab’. These would feature in his photography project entitled ‘Great British Youth’ which showcases British youth in their work environment.

Being neither of those things, I quickly acquiesced. The narcissist in me, only too pleased to play muse to a camera lens and unbothered by the small details, forgot to communicate my age and background until halfway through the shoot.

Since the photos will not be displayed in the exhibit, I’m showcasing them here instead, in my most self-indulgent blog post to date.

These photos are an homage to a 13 year-old girl, who once solemnly declared to her parents that she’d grow up to be a ‘paleoanthropologist’, and somehow, at 29, has managed to make a living out of playing with old bones.

This is my tribute to my love for bones, evolution… and all the worlds in between.

Thank you Yemisi!

[Photos by Yemisi Blake www.yemisiblake.co.uk]

Anatomy of a Square

[Click here for the the first part of the story: Road to Rudabanya]

“In Euclidean plane geometry, a square is a regular quadrilateral. This means that it has four equal sides and four equal right angles. […]  In spherical geometry, a square is a polygon whose edges are great circle arcs of equal distance, which meet at equal angles. The angles of such a square are larger than a right angle. […] In hyperbolic geometry, squares with right angles do not exist. Rather, they have angles of less than right angles. Larger squares have smaller angles.”

“I can tell you’ve done this before. You take good care of your square,” said Big Dave. With his tobacco voice and worn eyes, there was something about Big Dave that imposed respect, like an oversized lobster thrown back at sea. Wrinkles grew across his face like a leafless willow tree, scabs and memories quietly sitting side by side on its branches. At 70, he wore them with pride. In the field he was a towering sight, a gentle giant with a cigarette hanging from the corner of his mouth, hammering away at the gray marl in meditative silence. I didn’t take his compliments lightly.

It took me some time to understand that there is more to excavating than digging oneself into a hole. I used to work too fast, like I couldn’t wait to get to the bottom. In previous excavations I had even broken a few Paleolithic stone artifacts and missed large prehistoric rhinoceros molars under the clumsy strokes of my hurried tool. This time I wanted to put five years of practiced patience to the test. Sentences like follow the slope, keep it even and clean your square, all too familiar to budding archaeologists, ran like mantras in my head while I hit the screwdriver against the solid clay.

The site lay under the Hungarian sky like an open wound, a dozen or so bodies picking at it with sharp objects, like a pack of tiny rodents gnawing away at a carcass. From the inside, the pit looked like a multilayered podium, slumped backs sitting at different heights, labouring busily over their squares. In this overcrowded hole, bodies contorted under the pressure of invading limbs and heads from neighbouring squares, unable to be contained inside their one-by-one meter space. In the field, days moved to the sound of this human jigsaw puzzle reshuffling itself again and again on the muddy Rudabánya floor.

Apart from the trees and a turquoise lake shimmering seductively in the distance, which our acclimatised eyes barely noticed anymore, the site was remarkably unspectacular. It was easy to forget we were knee-deep in one of the most important sites in the paleoanthropological world. We were standing on the birthplace (or rather deathplace) of ‘Rudi’ and ‘Gabi’ (Rudapithecus hungaricus), two famous 10 million-year-old creatures and the closest things to the proverbial missing link between African great apes and humans.

Kneeling inside my square, like an inmate in a Japanese prison cell, my hands made their way down the earth’s skin, while my mind slowly escaped into the tiny crevices of the floor beneath my feet. Fieldwork has a way of warping time, of bending it into strange shapes you never knew it could have. It has a way of telescopically zooming into parts of yourself there aren’t any names for, like some overly curious surgeon probing in unwelcome parts of your anatomy.

I was momentarily rescued from my thoughts by the find of a partial Rudapithecus humerus, which lay between my square and Arthur’s. Fossils somehow have this remarkable ability to burrow in the most inconvenient of places, either on a complicated corner, on an edge, on a slant between two squares, inside the wall that won’t be excavated until next year. At the end of the season, the eastern wall would be left a veritable mosaic of fossils, sandwiched between multicoloured layers of dirt, bones of all sizes poking from mother earth’s epidermis like toothpicks. Most will never be rescued from their deathbeds.

Surrounded by clumps of strange teenage bodies, my mind recoiled unto itself. Days in the field were lived in silent introspection, interrupted only by the sound of sediment being shoveled away, the sound of rubble hitting an empty bucket, a metal tool hitting a rock, a hand swiftly swatting away a mosquito, a gust of wind, a bird. Mornings were spent under the spell of the 6:30 am wake-up call, stuck in that twilight space between an unnursed hangover and a coffee craving. The first break is at noon. No point in wondering about the time, there is always a disappointing distance between now and a break.

When a fossil is found, the human cloth breaks into a dozen uncoordinated pieces. Like a family of prairie dogs, heads peer up from the ground, a dozen pairs of inquisitive eyes turning to the location from where ‘is this something?’ is being uttered. No, it’s nothing, most of the time it’s nothing. A heap of dirty overheated bodies with bizarre tan-lines return to their labour, their unquestioning hands working the ground beneath them. There is a pause here and there; a pair of traveling eyes considers the menacing puddle accumulating on the plastic tarp hanging from above.

At lunch, I studied the lake below me while biting into a pista-covered hardboiled egg. I eyed it suspiciously, that copper-filled lake with its false blue-green promises. Exploited for centuries for its various metals and lignite, Rudabánya is now an exhausted, troubled and poverty-stricken land that gets its name from bánya, Hungarian for ‘mine’ and ruda, Russian for ‘ore’. The lake smiled at me like a hypocrite, concealing its evil secrets under a blanket of opalescent temptation. It was a remnant of a man-exploited world, men who had dug a hole and left, leaving behind a fistula of poisonous liquid that now had nowhere to go. I threw my leftovers in the bushes and turned my back to the lake nonchalantly, leaving it to play its tricks on others.

I locked my body back in place on my quadrilateral island. Taking shelter from unbearable teenage conversations with my headphones, I was left with the loudness of my emotions battling each other to pieces inside my chest. Grief, anger, doubt, insecurity and self-pity claimed me as their home, like naked crustaceans searching for a shell on foreign sea floor. There too was an evil lake inside of me, with poison pooling without escape. Feelings of abandonment, betrayal and loss weaved their webs inside of me, sad thoughts spun around and around, pulling me down into an infinity loop of melancholy.

Oui, l’enfer ce sont les autres, mais l’enfer c’est moi aussi.

It hadn’t always been like this. An eternity ago, the landscape had once smiled and flourished in the absence of man. Is this something? Yes, it’s something. Sometimes there is something. An Agriotherium femur, a deciduous Anapithecus canine, a Rudapithecus phalanx, a turtle shell, date pits, micromammal long bones, Chalicotherium something, a beaver other, pig this, squirrel that. As days went by, a picture of a lost world, where we now stood in knee-deep. It had not been the darkest before our dawn.

Rudabánya belongs to a time when the Carpathian Basin was covered with a shallow sea that covered large areas of today’s Hungary, in the late Cenozoic. Its shores were bordered by swampy forests, at a time when the weather was milder and more humid than today. The layers we now explored belonged to the Miocene, spanning from 24 to 5 million years ago, a period that saw the end of the connection between Eurasia and Africa, which allowed the hominoids in each continent to separate and follow their own independent paths. On one side the pongids evolved in Asia, and on the other the panids and hominoids in Africa, leading eventually to mankind.

Today, there is disagreement about the break-up point between the ape lineages, some believe the separation to have happened in Africa, where others believe it to have taken place Eurasia. David Begun, a wrinkleless-yet-just-as-intimidating man who led the National Geographic funded field season, champions the theory that the ancestors of African apes evolved in Eurasia. Whatever the version of events, it was this now half-eaten land that our Hungarian hominoid once called home.

A mix of black and sepia-toned rubble piled inside my bucket. I had reached the bottom of the black and red clay, both fossil-dense layers. Ahead of me, the quasi-barren ocean of hard grey marl awaited. Some days I envied those in the clays, delicately picking tiny secrets out of the ground with their oddly shaped dental tools. Some squares were so rich they were given names like the rice crispy square (a compact block of micromammal remains), or the graveyard square (whose complicated conglomerate of large carnivoran bones looked like the site of a massacre.). The grey marl, however, was a different game. It was a game of persistence, perseverance and patience. Easily overcome by discouragement and frustration, those of us serving sentences in these squares were under daily reminders from the more experienced that some of the better preserved and most important fossils had come out of this very soil.

By the end of the day, after hours spent in introspective confinement, the physical and mental landscapes collapsed into one another, like cartoon figures in a children’s pop-up book. No matter how much you follow the slope, keep it even or clean you square, it’s never up to you what the ground decides to yield. It all felt like a colossal metaphor for my life. The ground below me was showing me my faults, like a jester’s mocking finger demanding I connect the dots. I worked like I felt, as if for fear of losing I didn’t give enough before, and in name of the same fear, I was now afraid of letting go.

Back at the house, a circle of mangled bodies huddled over a fire after dinner. I sat in silence dodging the giggles and friendly complicities being exchanged around me, falling deeper and deeper under the hypnotic spell of the flames now dancing like possessed tribesmen inside the fire-pit. I contemplated the starless sky while my guts digested an unpalatable lesson: accepting that sometimes the biggest find, is not finding anything at all. Big Dave sat to the side, his ghostly presence watching over the crowd like a shepherd. He handed me a beer.

“Looks like it’s gonna rain.”

Road to Rudabánya

[Click here for the continuation: Anatomy of a Square]

Train Tracks

“Dear Anna, although it is short notice, if you can make your way to Kazincbarcika someone can pick you up there and bring you to Rudabánya.” – Professor David Begun
The taxi door slammed shut behind me. The hot sticky city air hit me like a mischievous wave. Before me, there was Budapest and its yellowish landscape peeling under an impossibly humid breath, like dusty hundred-year-old melted candles forgotten on a sacred altar. As I shuffled up and down some unpronounceable avenue, a row of buildings seemed to mumble a slow and tired hello, like anaemic and slightly unfriendly elderly folk.

Hungary, I would soon discover, is more than a country; it’s a state of mind. It is that place of permanent disquietude that lies inside the human soul, like a stage where long drawn-out suspense scenes take place in succession, with no climax, no closure, no dénouement whatsoever. Over there, just like a song that is imperceptibly out of tune, there prevails a sense of not-quite-rightness at every instant. This land was as real as it was imaginary, like a page ripped straight from an evil fairytale. Here I found all my feelings of unwellness sculpted unto its geography, like barnacles on a giant humpback whale. Hungary was some sort of twisted Wonderland, and I was some sort of Alice.

Despite my best efforts I had been unable for the past four months to work on my research project. My post-traumatic-hangover state of mind kept me away from my desk at university and just the thought of having to see this academic endeavour to its conclusion filled me with a mix of profound and almost physical laziness, angst and abysmal fear. I was trapped inside some Munchean canvas, screaming frantically to be released, except I didn’t know who to or what from. I needed the fieldwork.

Inside the hostel, the air was even hotter and stickier than outside. Clive, a statuesque Australian I had befriended, had just taken his first real shower in weeks. Towel around his waist, he expertly packed his bags for the next leg of his trip, while I adjusted the position of two fans directly over our beds, making sure the radius of both their motions moved synchronously and at mathematical precision so as to maximize breeze effect. We shared stories. He told me he was halfway through a four-month long bike journey across Europe, which explained his giddiness at the prospect of sleeping on a real bed. In turn, I explained how I was on my way to Rudabánya to dig for Miocene apes. In the dark, under the steady buzzing of the fans, we sat on the edge of my bed inspecting a map, like two lost strangers in search of some grand treasure. Bright yellow lines marked a route, which his hands travelled smoothly across the paper landscape. His fingertips swept gently towards its final destination, the Black Sea, directly across from my belly button. We were both half awake and half naked, trying unsuccessfully to survive the staleness of this Budapest room. While he spoke, I wiped little dew-like pearls of sweat off my chest at regular intervals. I looked at him, flashlight on his forehead, I could barely see his aqueous blue eyes through the rays of light flying in my direction; his voice was soft and deep and very Australian sounding.

The scene truly belonged in some version of Wild Orchid: Hungarian nights, except the main actress had suddenly forgotten her lines. Just like vibrations dissipating from the tinkling of a triangle, a steady but imposing wave of numbness invaded my whole body from the inside out. My skin was burning hot but my insides were ice-cold. An invisible force had transported itself into that room and had turned the volume on whatever it was I was supposed to be feeling, all the way down to muted. I said something nice that invited Clive to leave my side. I lay down on the bed that I now had all to myself, feeling the cool airflow of the fans taking turns sweeping heat off my feverish flesh. A subdued yet definite sense of contentment took over and I picked up my reading of David Begun’s New catarrhine phalanges from Rudabánya (Northeastern Hungary) and the problem of parallelism and convergence in hominoid postcranial morphology.”

Yes, I had just chosen a dense scientific article over a man. Welcome to my experience in Hungary. If London was a coquettish and naughty middle-aged lady looking for trouble, Budapest was a wise-yet-slightly-broken young woman trying to make her way to some village in the mountains, except she’s tipsy and is carrying more baggage than she can handle.

Twelve pages into the article, and I was more confused than ever about the status of Rudapithecus among the Dryopithecines, about the ancestral locomotor repertoire of great apes, about my PhD research, my career choices, and also about myself. As my brainwaves fluttered between consciousness and pieces of a dream, disconnected thoughts played in random loops inside my head. Emerging from this noise, like an old recording from a 19th century gramophone, my friend Sara’s distorted voice asked unrelentingly: “What’s it like? What’s it like?” I imagined myself as an old yellowed peeling Budapest building on the side of a nameless avenue, frowning suspiciously at a tiny little Alice, and whispering in a slightly unfriendly tone: “You don’t find your way. You just learn to be ok with being lost all the time. You just accept it.”

PhD degrees often are as much about a personal voyage as they are about one’s academic maturing, and this trip, I knew from the beginning, was going to be as much about scientific inquiry, as it would be about an inner search. It was time for this lady to sober up and bury the excess baggage where it belonged, in a distant past, in a clay pit in Rudabánya, with its ten million year-old cousins. It was time to put away this dirt and dig up some fresh one. It was time to leave, to find this muted muddy fossil-ridden land of lost innocence and primordial beginnings.

On the morning of July 24th, I set forth to Keleti station, track number 13. In silence, I waved goodbye to the giant elderly folk now busy mumbling bitter insults at the hot Hungarian air. Down the rabbit hole I went. The destination was Kazinczbarcika via Miskolc. The road was to Rudabánya.

[Click here for the continuation: Anatomy of a Square]

Stripped, Part III – ‘Back’

[click to read Part I, and Part II of my 'Stripped' series]



“Gosto das suas costas” – anonymous

I stepped out onto the street, still in a daze with those dreamy Portuguese words dancing in my head. A keychain dangled around my neck, the glittery ‘A’ bouncing off my stomach in a steady rhythm. A Sainsbury’s trolley full of bones dragged behind me as I marched towards the British Museum. Latte in hand and a smile on my face, I said: “I’m here. Where do I set up?”

It was London Anthropology Day. This was my first workshop.

I felt the blood rush towards my head. Everything was upside down. I adjusted my hands according to yoga instructions I had been given many years ago – “you have a very long back” I had been told. I tilted my head to the side to meet 50 pairs of very confused eyes staring intently at me… I was, after all, doing downward dog in a Paleoanthropology workshop.

“So you see, you really get the sense of how much longer our legs are in relation to our arms when you get on all fours. Apes on all fours don’t look this silly. And all of this because we are bipedal.” I said.

A human in downward dog and chimpanzee on all fours

I stacked my body back onto my legs, turning the room right side up again. My heels landed at the bottom of their multicoloured boots, in a painful reminder of the missing left insole, and as the weight of my torso came bearing down on my feet, my spine adjusted sorely over my uneven legs. With a supernumerary lumbar vertebra that gives my back its extra length, and a left leg 9 mm shorter than the right that gives my spine a slight sideways bend, my backbone is both a beauty and a torment. Concealing the discomfort from my audience, I secretly cursed this human condition as my lower back begged for downward dog again.

Like 24 little doughnuts piled one on top of the other, the human vertebral column, the hallmark of our species, remains among the most problematic structure of the human body. The lower back, in particular, which plays a key role in keeping the trunk erect and in equilibrium with minimal force, has both been described as an ‘evolutionary failure’ and as a ‘highly sophisticated gear system’. Stacked into a solid but bendable formation like a sturdy flower stem, the five lumbar vertebrae (or six…) are wedged into a lordotic curve that allow for both stability and flexibility in withstanding the forces generated by the weight of a heavy head and large torso over two stilt-like legs – a compromise achieved by a mechanism of interlocking facets, that just like a jointed toy snake, allow movement between the vertebrae in some directions while preventing it from moving in others.

The human S-shape vertebral column has two main curvatures, the thoracic kyphosis and the lumbar lordosis

But our locomotor repertoire of choice means we subject our lower backs to a great deal of bending stress throughout life – the most dangerous kind of stress for bony tissue – and because we can’t spend our lives in downward dog… we must pay the price in pain.

In fact, low back pain, or lumbago, is the most common type of back pain. It affects 80% of people at some point in their lives and accounts for more sick leave and disability than any other medical condition. In the U.S., lower back pain competes with the common cold as the leading reason why people see a physician; it is the number one cause of disability in workers under age 45 and is responsible for an estimated $20 to $50 billion annual expenditure in medical treatments and disability payments. Yet, in the UK,  19 in 20 cases of low back pain are classed as ‘non-specific’, because it is usually not clear what is actually causing the pain, and only about 1% are ever found to have severe causes.

The human lower back anatomy allows for a great deal of flexibility

A pain that has no cause, no cure, is not due to any physical abnormality yet plagues the whole of humanity? It is no surprise that lower back pain is described by the more spiritual as a part of our trial on earth, a burden we must endure in this physical life, only to be alleviated in the next celestial one.

But relief would have to wait for now. At least until I could locate my left insole.

“Was he bipedal?” asked a student while holding up an Australopithecus africanus skull. The room was now hot like an overcrowded yoga studio. I readjusted my back, and as I took the skull in my hands I wondered if ‘he’ had ever felt this way too…

And as it appears, he may very well have. It is likely that early hominids evolved a human-like lumbar lordosis around 3 million years ago, and they are even regularly quoted as having had six lumbar vertebrae – it was looking like, as far as my backbone was concerned, I had more in common with the africanus in my hand, than with the undergraduate opposite me.

However, individuals with six lumbar segments have only been observed in some gibbons and modern humans where they occur with a frequency of 2-8% in different populations, whereas great apes have only four or even three segments. The hominid axial skeleton shows many derived adaptations for bipedalism including an elongated lower back, both in number of vertebrae and in length; this stabilizes the upper body over the lower limbs by positioning the trunk’s centre of mass above the hip. In this case, the long lumbar spine of early hominids would have to be explained by the incorporation of a sixth vertebra during evolution, whereas the primitive condition of the common ancestor of great apes and humans is thought to be either five or four. However, this explanation requires us to accept the appearance and subsequent disappearance of lumbar vertebrae during our evolution – an unsavory explanation as far as the rules of evolution and parsimony go.

So much for my connection with africanus, my sixth vertebra was sounding more like a ‘fail’ than a ‘sophistication’… But at least there was yoga, and a very helpful 9mm thick insole to level me back.

I stepped back onto the streets, energized from the excitement of the workshop. The steady sound of the trolley wheels behind me, eating their way through the London pavement. As I moved away from the museum gates, the cheerful clinking of the shiny keychain ricochetted against my belly, to the pace of my slightly lopsided gait.

“Gosto das suas costas” I heard again.

I couldn’t tell where it was coming from, and its meaning was lost to me, but I smiled anyway. I slipped into a daze, under the welcoming July sunlight. The trolley’s wheels grew silent behind me as did the clinking of the keychain. I felt my feet float away from the ground and the weight of the world being lifted from my every vertebrae, until my back no longer hurt. I heard it again, this time in English, the same exact blurred sentence playing in a loop: “I like your back.” My whole body drifted away from the concrete floor as the city noises grew distant beneath my multicoloured boots. I closed my eyes and let myself go. My head was spinning under the spell of those hazy words that now multiplied below me: “I like your back. I like your back.” From one came many, faster and faster, louder and louder, like the beating of a drum, thumping away until I could not longer ignore them. My body suspended over the cityscape, I finally opened my eyes to meet the voices now shouting at me…

Underneath me there was London, a warm and sunny London, spreading like an enormous worn straw mat, and on that straw mat there were people, a crowd, no, many crowds, countless crowds expanding as far as the eye could see, all coming together into a friendly cohort of toy soldiers calling my name and chanting in unison…

“Welcome back! Welcome back!”

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————–

Author’s note: scientific facts aside, much of the account has been heavily fictionalised.

The Inner War Zone

landing_at_war_03

“Ceci est le combat du jour et de la nuit.” – Victor Hugo’s dying words, France, May 22 1885.


Catia is a molecular cell biologist and lives in world of pipettes, centrifuges, Bunsen beaks and flammable chemicals; under no circumstances would a room with a couch, National Geographic posters and a few cabinets with monkey bones constitute a ‘lab’, but such are the paleoanthropology digs at UCL where I invited her for coffee.

“One of them is real and one is fake right? The colour is different” she said pointing at two articulated human skeletons at the center of the room. “Yup, the one with the hat is real” I said pointing at the yellower one of the two standing erect below the Vietnamese straw hat. She took a sip of coffee and approached the bony mannequin, “so… that used to be a person… I mean, that used to be someone” she said, while staring into a pair of empty eye-sockets. I stared at my friend as if she had spoken a great truth priorly unknown to me.

When you’re around death for too long, you forget about life.

In my field, bones come from one of two places: the ground or a museum drawer; they are either dead or fossilized, they are always disarticulated, and most of the time the heads and the bodies kept in separate places. Sticky bones are unpleasant, coloured or stained bones are neat, and broken ones… well, those can be exciting too. But whichever the case, in my field, bones are always dead, static and mostly inorganic.

We forget, however, that by the time we hold them in our hands, a lifetime of existence has passed through them. Life having been drained from them by the time we come along, bones are but an abandoned battlefield balanced between our calipers. But while we measure and quantify all the geometry and science out of the bone, we often forget about the animated forces that gave them their shape, that made them someone.

When we are being made, our skeleton is one continuous gelatinous frame. Tiny and persistent muscular forces in the womb carve this frame into its proper shape. After birth, gravity and our daily activities in life continue to shape us into adults, into the skeletal form that is so familiar to us from textbooks, labs and nowadays printed t-shirts and hoodies.  The weight of our bodies, the amount of strain we put on them, our postures and bipedal stances are what form our curved spines, the angle at our knees and the shape of our hip bones among many other forms. While some of these forces common to us all will make us the same, variations in our individual paths and pursuits will make each frame unique.

1152065_Endosteal-Osteoblast_620

arnett_osteoclast

Osteoblasts (above) and osteoclast (below)

And this all happens due two opposing forces, through the combination of cells that battle each other invisibly and constantly on the surface of our bones. Like outer space creatures, they crawl and dance on the moon-like surface of our bony substrate building and destroying its matrix. Like diligent builders, osteoblasts asphalt the bony highways while osteoclasts, like giant extraterrestrial tentacled jelly fish, dissolve and melt bone with their toxic acid-releasing arms, leaving porous trenches behind them. Both are sensitive to changes from the outside world, reacting to the forces from our bodies, either adding or removing. Both armies work together, infinitely trying to keep pace, searching for an equilibrium, working together to hold us in place and keep us standing tall.

And through these antagonistic forces, going head to head and hand in hand in the most inner depths of our living selves, we find our strength: being hard and adaptable all at once, resisting the forces of the world and carrying our weight through it. In this battle of the day and night, of light and darkness, of construction and destruction our frames grow and exist, our skeletons constantly reinventing themselves under the input of the world and what we do within it, and carve us into a reflection of who we are and what we do.

“Yes, it used to be someone” I finally said to her. “And so were all the other ape bones in the room next door”.

It is here indeed where the battle of day and night begins.